


Reason will not lead to solution

by yvizsanlawrent



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Lovefool by The Cardigans, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Very Brief Mention Of Violence (in thoughts only), lots of swearing, sakusa works at a cafe but thats not really important, singer/guitarist atsumu, song-fic, very aggressive angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvizsanlawrent/pseuds/yvizsanlawrent
Summary: He loves him.He loves him not,Anymore.He loves him...He’s got the audience and attention of his one and only, his love and devotion. He’s been singing since forever, it’s his life and career. Howdarehe not enjoy this moment?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, one-sided Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Reason will not lead to solution

**Author's Note:**

> ngl, i was not expecting to (somewhat) project myself in this fic. this idea and prompt was an absolute brainrot

_“Dear, I fear we're facing a problem”_

He’s strumming on the couch when he gets home, quietly peering into the room to see him. He briefly stops, hands and fingers loosening their hold as they both quietly acknowledge the other, picking up on each other’s presence like a cat. He remembers the cute black and white bobtail they saw in a pet shop when they went out after Kiyoomi’s shift. Atsumu still doesn’t move, and neither does Kiyoomi from the doorframe. He inhales again. 

_"You love me no longer, I know and..._

_maybe there is nothing that I can do_

_to make you do"_

He plucks the strings to a song he can barely remember the chords to as Kiyoomi stills and watches him, before moving to the other couch across Atsumu. Kiyoomi follows his lead, settling down and listening to him like always. A tradition, a routine. But special each time nonetheless. 

_“Mama tells me I shouldn't bother_

_That I ought to stick to another man_

_A man that surely deserves me...”_

He doesn’t say the last part, knowing it to be untrue, and leaves it echoing in the silence between them. Atsumu continues to play, quickly plucking the striking chords between verses and forgoes the next line as well. Kiyoomi also quietly continues to stare, as both their minds do the dishonor of completing the lyrics in their thoughts. He doesn’t move an inch, his face doesn’t change a fraction. And Atsumu _knows_ this, mouth suddenly quirked up as he quietly sings, putting in nuances in each inflection of tone that he knows Kiyoomi loves and fell in love with. 

_“Love me love me_

_Say that you love me_

_Fool me fool me_

_Go on and fool me"_

He realizes he’s forming a grin, eyes closed singing as if he enjoys the moment. He _does_ enjoy the moment, the sensation and heft of his guitar on his lap and hand, the hard and metal touch of the strings and how it vibrates through him. The way he focuses and feels the melody he produces coming from his vocal chords, hitting all the right notes and depth that he wants as he wills it.

_“Love me love me”_

He’s got the audience and attention of his one and only, his love and devotion. He’s been singing since forever, it’s his life and career. How _dare_ he not enjoy this moment,

_“Pretend that you love me”_

As if he didn’t just sing that with such _bitterness and desperation?_

_“Leave me leave me_

_Just say that you need me"_

He still hasn’t looked, knowing very well that Kiyoomi was listening and staring. And so, he continues again, bobbing his head to his own beat, turning the music into his own style. 

_“Lately I have desperately pondered_

_Spent my nights awake and I wonder"_

Once more putting in nuances in each inflection of tone that he knows Kiyoomi **_loves so much_** _._

_“What I could have done in another way_

_To make you stay"_

**_Used to love_** _so much._ He wants to cry, he wants to laugh, he wants to slam his guitar into Kiyoomi’s face, he wants to have him leaning on him as he plucks, picks and strums, both smiling as they enjoy their afternoon on the couch, stealing kisses here and there.

He smiles a little bigger, he sings a little louder, because _god fucking damnit,_ does he know all of Kiyoomi. He knows how he would smile at him and enter the space in new clothes, freshly showered because Atsumu knows he would never not clean himself after coming home. _God fucking damnit_ does he knows how Kiyoomi would saunter over to him on a particularly hard day while heating up dinner and quietly hum together with Atsumu on whatever song he thinks of. He knows how Kiyoomi would change into baggy shirts and thin pants at home, smelling of fine mint and roses, opposite of the long-covering and fitting casual uniform and sleeves he wears at work. _God damnit_ does he know the expression he would wear if Atsumu hasn’t cleaned himself, and the small sound of approval Kiyoomi makes when he knows Atsumu has. _God fucking damnit_ does he knows how deeply Kiyoomi fell for him, and how he still does every time he sings and puts in his own style, twisting the song into a brand of Miya Atsumu. He knows how he would tell him he’s a big egotistical jerk every time and kiss him right after. He knows Kiyoomi _so much_ he can practically tell each reaction to Atsumu’s actions. 

_“Leave me, leave me_

_Just say that you need me"_

And _god fucking dammit does he know Sakusa Kiyoomi doesn’t love him anymore._

Out of everything, he wishes he never knew _that_. 

_“I can't care 'bout anythin’ but ya.”_

_Huh_ , he blinks as his eyes render a familiar shadow before him. _I slipped._ With bitter dry amusement, he repeats. _Ah damn, I slipped_. 

A large slender hand looms into Atsumu's vision and places itself, from his chin to his jaw, to the rings of his earlobes, up to his hairline and to his eyes. 

_But it's when I accent the song that ya like it the most right?_

His hand held no tremor, no movement, no vibration. It held no temperature, no warmth nor chill, no cool touch to Atsumu’s warm skin that he yearns for every time as Kiyoomi only lightly holds him. His hand had tilted his gaze upward, back and up to those eyes. Those _damned_ eyes that he couldn’t escape falling into again. Those _damned_ eyes that he looked for every morning. Those _damned_ eyes that once shined starlight at him. Those _damned_ eyes that once had all the world’s promises and all his soul’s rest. He registers a touch, a light sweep underneath his eyelashes and the brief wetness on his skin. He knows too much of Kiyoomi he barely recognizes his own tears anymore. 

“Is that what you want me to do?” He blinks, mouth parted from his daze as Kiyoomi gives him the question. 

“So you don’t care, if I really care anymore."

He closes his eyes and nuzzles into Kiyoomi’s weightless touch, once more surrendering himself. 

“...S'long as ya don't go.” 

He just quietly scoffs, “You’re a fool.” 

Good thing Kiyoomi knows him too much as well. 

  
  


_...A man that surely deserves me_

_But I_ **still** _think you do_

_So I cry and I pray and I beg..._

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll just say, this wasn’t /that/ angsty in my mind originally. (teehee!)
> 
> twt: yvizsanlawrent (im also in the sass server!!)


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